called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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