I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
