Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
