I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
