Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize