you guys were way drunker than both of me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
