I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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