her vagine was all disorganized.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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