The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
