I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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