We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
