That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
