I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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