a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize