I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
