In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
