I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
