So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
