They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize