is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
