Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
