"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
