You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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