is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
