so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think a kid would responsible me up
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
