The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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