imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
