I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
