where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
