Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
