Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
