We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
