I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
