yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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