There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
