OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
