so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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