Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
