my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
