She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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