That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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