I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
