this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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