The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
