I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
