I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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