She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
