already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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