I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
