those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
