Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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