Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
