There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
