So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
